When it comes to online dating, one of the hardest things to determine is whether you are a match with someone you’re interested in. Even if the algorithms match two people, there is no guarantee that there will be enough chemistry to make you both want to explore a long-term relationship.
The good news is that you can analyze your matches on your own to see if the two of you are compatible. With this information, it will be much easier to ensure that you save your communication time for those who you have a lot in common with.
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You Are Relaxed When You Are Communicating
When you are talking to someone, how at ease you feel can shed some light and whether you are compatible. While engaged in conversation, do things flow well or do you feel as though you are forcing the conversation?
When a conversation does not have a natural rhythm to it, this can indicate that the two of you are not compatible. It is important to pay attention to this starting with your first conversation. Two compatible people will have an easy conversation and be able to quickly transition between topics without effort.
On a first date, an estimated 74% of singles say that it is a good indication that they are a good match if the conversation is good. About 83% of singles say that when conversation flows well on a dating app or site, this means that they will likely have good conversations once they meet in person for that first date.
Do You Both Have the Same Views on Grammar and Spelling?
Believe it or not, bad grammar and spelling can be a turnoff. Approximately 58% of people believe that bad grammar is even worse than bad sex.
When you are communicating via text, if your grammar and spelling skills are lacking, it is a good idea to use a spellchecker to ensure that you are not making any obvious errors. Most people will forgive the occasional typo, but if you are making the same mistakes repeatedly, this could result in the person not wanting to continue talking to you.
You can always type your messages in a word processor and run spelling and grammar checks. Then, just copy and paste your message into the dating site’s messaging system so that you can send it to your match. This will take a few extra seconds and could go a long way in impressing the person you like.
You Have at Least a Few of the Same Passions
It is fine to have some differences, but it is best to have at least a few things that both of you really enjoy. This could be anything from a television show to a sport.
Research performed at the Gottman Institute showed that for a relationship to work, couples need two things, including being interested in what your partner likes and having a shared meaning.
Two people can often bond over things that they really love. For example, if you both love hiking, this is something that you can talk about and spend time doing together. An estimated 64% of daters want someone who they share similar interests with.
When you are filling out your online dating profile, it is important that you make clear the things that you are most passionate about. With this information, it will help the people looking at your profile know if the two of you have any similar passions.
When you are talking about things that you do not have in common, do not be shy about asking questions. Showing respect and passion for the things that they like can also help the two of you to bond.
Proximity is Important
When people live far away from one another, the chances of them ever meeting in person is reduced. Traveling is fun, but it is costly, and it often requires that you take time away from work and your other responsibilities.
If you live in a very big city, you want to get an idea about the distance between the neighborhoods if things are far apart. This makes it easier to choose a central point where you two can meet so that one of you is not traveling considerably further than the other.
Think about how busy the two of you are when you are starting to talk for the first time. Make sure that both of you are willing to travel a bit if you live in different cities or different neighborhoods in big cities.
If you are someone who does not want to date someone who lives far away, it is important that you make this clear on your online dating profile. This is especially important if you are someone who wants to see the person that you are dating on a regular basis.
Humor Can Get You Positive Attention
One study looked at how men fared when they used humor when talking to a woman. An estimated 57.1% were refused when they were not using humor. 42.9% were able to get phone numbers from women when they were being humorous.
When it comes to humor, it typically needs to go both ways. People want someone who not only makes them laugh, but also someone who will laugh at their jokes.
When you tell a joke and it falls flat, this can make things awkward and cause issues with your confidence. If the person you are dating does not have a sense of humor, there is a higher likelihood that they will not get your jokes either.
When a sense of humor is very important to you, it is a good idea to talk about this on your dating profile. You can also choose to tell a joke or two as you are writing the different parts of your profile. Being able to make someone laugh is usually a turn on, so this could actually help you to break the ice with someone who is interested in you, prompting them to send you a message.
Always Ask About Their Weekend
When two people have conflicting schedules, they are not likely to get together on a regular basis. This can have a negative impact on a relationship, especially in the early stages when you are just getting to know each other.
Two compatible people are able to sync their schedules at least enough to see each other about once a week. You should both also have time to talk to each other on the phone or via text message throughout the week.
When you start talking to someone who interests you, it is best to get into the details about your schedules. What is most important is when the two of you get some time off, which for the average person, includes the weekends.
Ideally, you both want to share at least one day off. This will make it easier to create plans and see each other. If your work schedules are similar, you might also consider using free evenings, or days, depending on your schedule, to get in some time together.
Should your schedules be drastically different, any chemistry that you both have is likely to fizzle out eventually, so talking about your schedules early can help to prevent this.
Personality is of Utmost Importance
People need to be likable to do well in dating. Research shows that most people consider someone’s personality more than anything else, including their physical characteristics.
An estimated 52% of people put the most emphasis on their partner’s personality. Not only do your personalities need to be compatible, but they also need to be attractive to each other. This is actually a bit more complicated than just enjoying someone’s personality.
When you meet someone who has a personality that you are attracted to, researchers say that you essentially just know. It will feel right and this will cause you to be attracted to them in a romantic way.
It is best to have at least a few conversations with someone once you’re intrigued by their personality. Within a few conversations, it will typically become clear if they are a good fit.
If you are into astrology, you probably consider it when it comes to determining compatibility with another person. Some online dating sites even ask what your sign is so that it is showing on your profile.
If you and the person you’re talking to share the same zodiac sign, there is a good chance that you are compatible. This is due to already having a similar personality and likely some things in common.
When people have similar traits, they are more likely to be compatible and sympathetic to any perceived negative personality traits. This is usually due to a deeper level of mutual understanding.
If you are talking to someone and you take astrology seriously, ask about the other person’s sign. It is relatively easy to assess possible compatibility once you can evaluate how well both of your signs mesh together.
One Third of Compatible People Agree on Three Main Questions
There are three general questions that you should ask on a first date. If you and your partner have the same answers, there is a strong likelihood that the both of you are compatible. In fact, about one third of people who share the same answers find that they are a good match.
These questions include:
- Do you enjoy watching horror movies?
- Would you love to live on a sailboat?
- Have you traveled alone to another country?
When it comes to happy couples, about 44% of them share the same religious beliefs. This is likely due to people of the same religion typically having similar values.
While you can easily get along with people with a variety of values, if you are going to share your life with someone, it is much easier to do when you can agree on major things, such as religion. People with the same religious beliefs also tend to share other similar views that are important, such as political beliefs and opinions on controversial topics.
There are online dating websites that cater to specific religions. This is the simplest way to ensure that you’re meeting people with similar beliefs. However, most major dating sites do give you a section where you can list your religion so that the people who view your profile can see what your views are.
If meeting someone with specific religious beliefs is very important to you, it is best to state this on your dating profile. You can tell people that you have a strong preference towards those who share your beliefs and you can even let them know why this is so important to you.
Extraverts vs. Introverts
When you are on very opposite sides of this spectrum with someone you’re dating, it does have the potential to cause conflict in your relationship. This appears especially true when the man is introverted, and the woman is more of an extrovert.
This is believed to be due to societal views on male and female roles in a relationship. It is traditionally expected that men are more extroverted, so when the roles are reversed, this has the potential to cause problems. If you prefer someone on one end of this spectrum, make sure to discuss this early on in your relationship.
Money Matters to Many People
Being in the same financial class is something that can affect your compatibility. People are naturally more attracted to those who they view as being at least middle class. One study looked at Tinder users who would swipe positively up to 39% of the time for those who appeared at least middle class.
This could be due to several factors, such as wanting someone who is financially stable. Another thing to consider is that people who are perceived as at least middle class can likely afford to date regularly.
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