The Role Of Money And Finances In Online Dating (Updated For 2020)

Finances and online dating go together whether you are focused on the financial status of your matches or not. There are several things to consider because people with drastically different financial statuses may have related issues to consider in their relationship. It is important to explore the facts regarding finances and online dating so that you can understand the impact and ask the right questions when you find a compatible match.

Money And Online Dating

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A Partner’s Overspending Can Negatively Affect Your Life

Science looked at how overspending can impact a relationship. It determined that if you are dating someone who spends too much, your quality of life is lowered.

One study looked for trends among those who dated someone who was responsible with their finances. It was determined that they typically reported being happier and a greater sense of personal well-being. The opposite was also observed in this study. When partners were not financially responsible people felt less committed and a reduced sense of well-being.

It is believed that part of this phenomenon is associated with people fearing that they will take on their partner’s bad financial habits if they remain in a relationship with them. If you are in a good financial position, you do not want it to get sidetracked by someone you are just getting to know.

When you are dating online, you can start to learn about someone’s financial habits by their profiles. For example, if someone is flaunting wealth, this could potentially indicate overspending. You will need to talk more about your goals and life status to determine their financial situation.

Finances Can Result in Control and Power Issues

Finances and online dating can start to intrude on the overall dynamic of your relationship. When one partner has significantly more financial stability than the other, this may relate in a type of power struggle. This is especially true when the woman in the relationship is making more money than the man.

As the control and power problems continue to intensify, this can result in a rift that cannot be fixed. If you enter a relationship with someone who has very different finances than you do, it is important that you two start talking about this early in your life. You want to work toward a common ground so that you can both be on the same page regarding your financial goals and how both of you see your finances in the future.

The Leading Cause of Relationship Stress is Money

Whether you have been dating for a month or years, money matters can cause stress in your relationship. When you meet someone online, you do not have to immediately start talking about money. However, it is a conversation that you should start having once you decide that you want to continue to spend time together.

Not being able to afford the necessities or meet financial goals can impact all parts of your life. Because of this, if one partner is not pulling their weight, it can start to cause issues like resentment in your relationship.

Money and Major Life Goals Go Hand in Hand

Couples will go through several major life events when they are together long-term. Because of this, you need to make sure that your finances are adequate to cover the major life goals that the two of you share.

When couples are not on the same page regarding things like kids and buying a house, this can cause financial issues in their relationship. Essentially, all of these things need to be agreed on before you can continue to date someone long-term. Experts suggest discussing things like wanting kids within the first few months of starting a relationship.

Men Who Achieve Better Financial Standing May Find Current Partners Less Attractive

When you are dating someone, when something major changes in your life, it is not uncommon for it to impact your relationship. A major financial boost appears to impact men’s thoughts on their relationship more than women though.

When both men and women were asked to describe how a major financial boost affected them, many of the men stated that it made them look at their current partner differently, in many cases, making their current partner less attractive to them. While some women agreed, more men had this experience.

The same men felt that being better off financially made them want to find a partner who they considered to be more physically attractive. In many cases, they said that they would actively seek out a more attractive partner.

Culture Impacts How Money Affects How You View Potential Mates

Some cultures put a bigger emphasis on wealth than others. People in these cultures tend to view money and relationships differently. For example, in cultures where money is important, people with more money tend to look for partners based on their level of attractiveness.

This partially explains the sugar dating that is common in the United States and countries with similar cultures that glamorize wealth. People with limited financial means feel lucky when they meet someone who is essentially willing to share their wealth as part of their relationship.

On the other hand, wealthy people want partners who are physically attractive. This seems especially important for men. Wealthy men often look for female partners that are significantly younger and very attractive. Even when it is not a sugar baby arrangement, the women they date tend to not have the same financial means.

Women Say a Wealthier Person is More Attractive More Often Than Men

While wealthy people may be viewed as more attractive by both men and women, women tend to put more emphasis on this. It is estimated that about 36% of women view a man as more attractive when he has money. This is compared to approximately 22% of men who agree with this.

This explains why sugar dating websites are often overwhelmingly women seeking out a wealthy partner for an arrangement. Ultimately, it is the money that is guiding the women toward the partner they feel is the most compatible.

Less Than Half of All Women Think Men Should Pay for Dates

When it comes to who should pay for a date, men seem to think the burden is on them more than women. In fact, only about 42% of women think this is the man’s responsibility. This is compared to about 68% of men who feel that it is their responsibility to pay the tab on dates.

This change in thinking may be due to several factors. The first is that more women are financially dependent today than they were 50 years ago. Women also tend to view themselves as equals more today than they did in decades past. In fact, some women feel comfortable paying for the date all on their own.

Not Even Half of Men and Women Think Finances Impact Their Decision to Pursue a Long-Term Relationship

Money may be the biggest source of relationship stress, but when men and women are considering going long-term with someone, less than half say that their partner’s finances are a major factor. It is estimated that only about 31% of women and 22% of men say that they highly consider finances when deciding if they want to commit to someone.

Few People Agree That Finances Should Not Be Shared with Dating Partners

More and more couples are opting to keep their finances separated today. However, few people believe that a couple should keep their finances private. Only about 9% of men and 13% of women view salaries as a form of personal information. Most people seem to believe that talking salary and finances should be at least disclosed as part of getting to know each other.

Few People View Bankruptcy as a Dealbreaker

Bankruptcy can have a major impact on what couples can do, from buying a home to getting better rates on credit. However, only about 10% of women and 11% of men think that bankruptcy should have a major impact on their relationship.

What is interesting about this statistic is that most people agree that communicating about finances is important. However, a lack of communication about finances is a major contributing factor to bankruptcy. Couples who do talk about their money tend to manage it better so that they can avoid taking such drastic measures to cope with their debt.

Saving for the Future is Very Important for Most People

One thing that both men and women seem to agree on is that the ability to save is critical for a relationship. About 92% of women and 90% of men think that a couple’s ability to save is imperative for relationship longevity.

Exactly how much a couple should be saving varies greatly. However, most people believe that when a partner has savings, they are more stable, and therefore, more attractive. Both partners should discuss savings early on so that they can make sure that they are on the same page.


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1. If your partner overspends, you can have a reduced sense of well-being and happiness.

2. Control and power issues can occur in a relationship with imbalanced finances.

3. Money is the biggest factor in relationship stress.

4. Big life events and goals and money are intertwined.

5. Men who improve their financial status tend to look for more attractive mates more often than women.

6. How money affects your choice in mates is partially dependent on your culture.

7. About 36% of women view men as more attractive when they have money.

8. Only about 42% of women feel that their male partner should pay for dates.

9. Only about 31% of women and 22% of men consider finances a major element when deciding to pursue a long-term relationship with someone.

10. About 9% of men and 13% of women say that salary is personal information that should not be shared.

11. Only about 10% of women and 11% of men see bankruptcy as a dealbreaker.

12. Approximately 92% of women and 90% of men say that saving money is critical for a relationship.

SOURCES:

https://www.cnbc.com/
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10834-018-9572-9
https://newprairiepress.org/jft/vol3/iss1/4/
https://www.nbcnews.com/
https://www.cnbc.com/
https://www.livescience.com/
https://www.livescience.com/
https://www.bustle.com/
https://thriveglobal.com/
https://www.policygenius.com/blog/couples-mange-money/
https://www.huffpost.com/
https://www.shepherdsfriendly.co.uk/

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